First of all I have come to the staunch realization that I am not a "rainbow and unicorn" mom. When I speak it is from the heart, it is raw, sometimes funny, and always freeing. When I walk around my house glitter and butterflies do not float about. I do not wear rose colored glasses and I know that Logan is what he is and everyday I learn a new trick to dealing with him. Mostly because what I learned yesterday is totally irrelevant today. His little twin sisters are either on my side or not, and mostly because they are preteen girls they are NOT. That always adds to the fun an excitement of life.
Summer has been an all time consuming adventure. Leaving the safety of those that adore Logan in Elementary school and venturing out into a world unknown has been a series or breakthroughs and melt downs, in no particular order. Logan is very much wanting to grow up and be independent all the while staying firmly attached to my pant leg LOL. He tried out the "big brother" role this summer... ya... that resulted in numerous melt downs. All of those (of course) occurred while I was a work usually with a client in the office and me in the copy room trying to reason with an inconsolable person. Or as I like to say it "throwing wet sponges at a fire." I can deal with them in person, but over the phone crying like a 2 year old (half the time I cant understand the poor kid) and melting down is very difficult to handle on a phone. But, all in all we tackled them and moved on. We have had best friend drama, I hate you , I love you, where did you go, leave me alone, please come back, BFF's, sell my sisters, i cannot live with out my sisters, secret societies and clubs to no one likes me....ahhhhh!!! melt downs and make ups. Sometimes when I'm really lucky... all in one day. Yes, really all in one day. If you don't have an ASD kid in your life you really should get one, you have no clue what drama can be like until then, or how nice drinking wine is LOL
Logan's angst about middle school is growing as are his daily meltdowns. We had to deal with the haircut melt down this weekend. I have to admit this one was my fault, I prepared him for this all day, and in the end time ran out, no hair cut for Logan. Those of you with a kid on the spectrum I am sure has experienced the haircut delima (it seems to be common for ASD kids to not like hair cuts) so after the haircut did not happen it was 30 minutes of "but Mom, you said!" " you told me it was going to happen today" fits of anger, slamming doors, and tears later we snuggled in the recliner and watched a movie.
Over all the summer with Logan has been fantastic. I am very impressed with Logan, he did 2 no 3 over night camps. I was stunned I did not get phone calls in the middle of the night begging me to come get him. Granted they were all with the church in a location, and with people whom he is very familiar with, and a staff that is the BEST ever! His sisters were also old enough to along this year. Also they were no more than 3 nights and they built up from 1 to 2 to 3. It was in short amazing. It does help that his cousin who was put on this earth to "get" Logan, and one of the older youth (who is an aspie) were there. We are so lucky, no, no BLESSED to have these people in our lives. My nephew is truly a God send when it comes to Logan, I could write a book on what that kid means to me. Having the girls be old enough to go was probably the biggest factor in Logan going on these trips this year. Last year he wanted nothing to do with them. he did not care where they were going, who they would be with or any of it. It was I have no electronics, no TV, no Wii NO WAY. So I didn't even push the issue. I simply said your sisters OH and your BFF is going do want to go to?
Luckily he said yes which lead to the most magnificent happening of all this summer. Brucie and I got a whole weekend and entire 3 days kid free! We broke every parent rule, we went to Louisiana and gambled, and drank, and ate too much , and stayed up too late, and drove too far, and spent too much and Bruce got a tattoo. It was great, it was the most quiet I have had in well... EVER! There is nothing I can do to repay that gift. I am not sure anyone realizes how much it meant to me to just be able to be. To go the bathroom alone, to shop for groceries alone, to not have to break up fights, or fix melt downs, or be quiet in the morning when i get my coffee so I don't wake anyone up and I can sneak back in my room before they notice. NONE of it. It was like I got shipped off to a new world, my own secret place. But, it's gone now. Back to dinosaurs, all things animal, and fighting siblings.
To tell you the truth I wouldn't have it any other way. I was bored by Sunday without the kids, but it was still a nice break. I love my life, my kids, my stress, our successes.I get to sit and cry and bitch about it because it's mine. I don't live on a Rainbow or ride around on a unicorn with glitter and butterflies floating about and that's OK. Life would be pretty lame without a rain cloud and thunderstorms to shake it all up. I love my little black rain clouds :)
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