Well, it finally happened and I cannot say that I am surprised. The huge Middle School Meltdown.....
Last year in Elementary school Logan was graduated from Special Ed math to regular math on his IEP. It was fantastic, he was so proud ( as he should be) and loved getting to stay in class with everyone else. On we go to Middle School, I honestly thought the first day of school Logan would crack and meltdown. But, he didn't short of playing with water to calm himself down, (running water, it's his go to thing) he did great. Logan did not loose it when classes changed or when teachers changed he was OK. I think it might have been because we talked about this all summer long but whatever the reason he survived YAY!!
Move on to day two; we are doing homework and I ask him who his math teachers is and I look it up and it's a SpEd teacher. Grrr, no no he needs to be in regular math, not SpEd. So I innocently tap out a nice letter to his Advisor please look into this I am pretty sure he needs to be in regular not SpEd, please advise. Nothing pushy not rude, I thought maybe the summer made my brain mush and made it all up. While at work I get a call from his school, on of those canned mass message deals, it says not to expect immediate schedule changes they are working on doing as many as possible it might take a week and so on. I'm like great I can prepare Logan for it... one day next week they are going to change your schedule.
Oh NO NO NO NO apparently my e mails are golden and special and get turn around 12 hour service o_O
I got the bus route changed for middle and elementary by writing an e mail.... but that is a story for a different day. Mind you other parents would KILL I mean literally KILL for 12 hour schedule changes (you've seen the news, moms in TX go whack on crack over stuff like this :) Not me, I would love the week to prepare, why are we so special? Geesh! They change the kids schedule while he is in first period, meet him out side of his class room walk him to his new second period hand him a new schedule and pat him on his head and leave. This is about where it started.... now he is in band second period. Not too bad it's Clarinets and he plays Sax still would wind...were good, a little unsettling but good. 3rd period, A lunch, 4th period, and then it happens. He walks into a brand new math class knows, no one, the kids are handing in their homework of which he has none, the teacher passes out text books and tries to throw in a lesson all in rapid fire succession. Logan looses it, gets up crying goes to his advisers office says he is NOT going back and proceeds to melt down.
The adviser tries to reason with him, I give her an "A" for effort but there is NO reasoning with a kid in full tilt meltdown. We have all been there, you have to talk them off their ledge (that's what I call it) it takes a very long time. So in an effort to get the kid into his 6th period class she offers him an out, she says give it 2 weeks and if you don't like it you can go back. WTF!!! noooooooooooo there are no outs lady, he has to do this, he CAN do this, don't tell him if you still do bad in 2 weeks you can go back. Guess what he does, he will do bad for 2 weeks and then want to go back. She failed big fat "F"
Nope not in my house. My mother raised by a woman who, in the 20's, survived polio and graduated from UT with a degree in education, taught my mother who was dyslexic and graduated from TCU in 3 years in the 50's, that just because you have something wrong with you, gives you in no way shape or form the card to not succeed. In all aspects of life. Logan is not allowed to use the "but, I'm autistic" card to not succeed. Logan makes straight A's, the only class Logan is still in SpEd for is English. He is 100% smart enough and able to make it, in regular classes. But, if you just throw him in there with no notice he will fail, Logan hates to fail.
His, adviser e mails me, she doesn't even call me??!! e mails me that all of this went down but that she checked on him and he seems to be doing fine. RIIIIGHHHHTTTT!!! That's why he calls me at work crying inconsolably telling me what happened? No he is NOT, OK. Not, right now the kid had a full tilt meltdown at school infornt of kids and ran down the hallways screaming and crying in your office and you tell me he is OK (big fat FAIL again). I try to defuse him over the phone again this is like throwing wet sponges at a fire...it's not helping. I tell him to go play the Wii till we get home.
So one long hour later we are home, he is still crying, he is still in his room. My heart is breaking, I call him down and we make ravioli (Italian is his favorite) and while we are cooking dad and I double team the meltdown. Oh did I mention I have also started my wine bottle :) he says that basic math is easy, and the regular teacher is too fast, and he hates, it and he will never catch up and on and on. I simply and quietly tell him that he cannot go back to basic math, that would be like going back to elementary school it's just not possible, and that his best bud has the same math teacher the hour before. the diffusion is slowly working. We are cooking and talking and I am drinking up to 2 glasses at this point and we are crying and hugging. By the time the sauce is ready to just simmer for a bit, and the ravioli are made, we have made out way to the dinning room table and we are working on MATH homework. AND he is doing it on his own with little to no intervention from myself or dad. I give myself and dad and A+ and Logan well there is no possible way to score that high.
All in all we will learn from this and move on. I think we might have come out of this one a little bit better than when we went it. At the end of the night I got the mail and Logan had a hand written letter in it from a sweet lady at church who saw him get Baptized. It simply said that she was proud of him and couldn't wait to see what he did with this gift God gave him. He beamed and said "MOM she's proud of me and I didn't know her until Sunday!" That right there was the absolute greatest possible way to end that day. God blesses us and shows His grace in the most amazing ways, it's good to be loved like that and to see the His love in others shared like that too.
He went to school today happy and focused on succeeding, and doing this thing the Logan way, and that is ALL I can expect. Everyday he amazes me, everyday he makes me proud, Everyday I am blessed to be his mom.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Labels what are they really all about?
Some people are really NOT going to like this......All of these labels that people are throwing around really got me thinking the other day. Why do we have them, who makes us use them? Have we all become so insecure that the only way to fit in is to have a label? What happened to being a person?
It has just recently been a topic of my daily conversations when my "regular" children were referred to as Neurotypical. I'm not certain but, I am pretty sure I crossed my eye when I heard that. NO, it's not the first time I heard it, with Drs. and my son the words he is not neurotypical are said with some regularity. It took me by surprise that we have now put labels on people who ARE the round peg in the round hole. I guess my whole concern is first and for most all of us are human beings, we all deserve to be treated the same. I know we are not, I know we have to fight for our kids, don't attack me for that. But, why label where labels don't need to be. Not everyone is, or needs to be, in a group heading under a label. My word, look at how many different terms and levels their are for Autism (ASD, on the spectrum, high functioning, nonverbal severe, ASD with PDA, ADHD ,and OCD etc.) I seriously could fill a paragraph with acronyms and new terminology. Will you only speak to me if I fit in your label? Can my kid not play with yours because he is not under your label? In the medical community and with the diagnosis the labels and acronyms help stream line research and medical protocol. To me outside of schools and Drs. offices it should be left up to my discretion to label or not label him. Why are so many parents using labels out of the medical or educational realm? (educational is for schools and social groups on line or other wise, as I feel that we are educating others)
My son is my son he's different, you can see that fairly easily. My daughters are my daughters they blend in I guess you could say. Isn't enough that we get excluded and pointed out for, hair, make-up, clothes, speech, do we really need to go one more step and walk around with big glowing A's hovering over us. I mean its pretty dang obvious we do not fit the mold. We as parents are not as "put together" (unless you are a Rainbows and Unicorn mom)as others, we are strung out, worn out, one more lecture on how "technically it's not the end of summer mom" and we might snap. But what we all want is acceptance and understanding and a little grace. I assume I am different because labels don't make me feel special, it is not a badge of honor I ever wanted. Love me and my kid because we are human. We are just like you, we have the same struggles you do. It's just that our kids stay around longer in the troubles you had at 2,3,4 & 5. It's the same, you can remember, if you let yourself. If I feel the need to let you know my child's medical needs, I will let you know.
Perhaps I live in a fairly tail land but to me there is no difference in what I do than in what any parent does. We struggle, we fight, we love, we enjoy, we get knocked down and get right back up again. Just as I feel that people do not need to walk around introducing themselves as "Hi, I'm Tom I'm gay and have a husband with 2 normal kids" to find acceptance nor do I feel the need to say "Hi, I'm Karen, I'm straight have a husband and 3 kids one is autistic and 2 are not" to find acceptance. My label rant is for everyone who is so concerned about "stepping on toes" and hurting feelings that we have become so damn "politically correct" we are going BACKWARDS in society. WE are segregating ourselves. WE made the labels, We are the ones who say if you don't have this label you don't belong. If we all stopped trying to "fit in" and accept people for just being a human being then maybe just maybe we wouldn't need to be so PC all the time. Maybe you could love and respect someone with any type of difference. Maybe there would be less judgement and more conversations. I realize ignorance is out there and it always will be. But, I have to figure there are more of "us" than there are of "them" otherwise the world would not be as advanced.
Beyond religion, and bibles, and living the golden rule. Treat someone as human they deserve as much grace as you do. Our differences don't make us different. They make us unique. That is why no mater how hard you try to package us into labels will we all every fit. Because we are all unique and is my rainbow.
It has just recently been a topic of my daily conversations when my "regular" children were referred to as Neurotypical. I'm not certain but, I am pretty sure I crossed my eye when I heard that. NO, it's not the first time I heard it, with Drs. and my son the words he is not neurotypical are said with some regularity. It took me by surprise that we have now put labels on people who ARE the round peg in the round hole. I guess my whole concern is first and for most all of us are human beings, we all deserve to be treated the same. I know we are not, I know we have to fight for our kids, don't attack me for that. But, why label where labels don't need to be. Not everyone is, or needs to be, in a group heading under a label. My word, look at how many different terms and levels their are for Autism (ASD, on the spectrum, high functioning, nonverbal severe, ASD with PDA, ADHD ,and OCD etc.) I seriously could fill a paragraph with acronyms and new terminology. Will you only speak to me if I fit in your label? Can my kid not play with yours because he is not under your label? In the medical community and with the diagnosis the labels and acronyms help stream line research and medical protocol. To me outside of schools and Drs. offices it should be left up to my discretion to label or not label him. Why are so many parents using labels out of the medical or educational realm? (educational is for schools and social groups on line or other wise, as I feel that we are educating others)
My son is my son he's different, you can see that fairly easily. My daughters are my daughters they blend in I guess you could say. Isn't enough that we get excluded and pointed out for, hair, make-up, clothes, speech, do we really need to go one more step and walk around with big glowing A's hovering over us. I mean its pretty dang obvious we do not fit the mold. We as parents are not as "put together" (unless you are a Rainbows and Unicorn mom)as others, we are strung out, worn out, one more lecture on how "technically it's not the end of summer mom" and we might snap. But what we all want is acceptance and understanding and a little grace. I assume I am different because labels don't make me feel special, it is not a badge of honor I ever wanted. Love me and my kid because we are human. We are just like you, we have the same struggles you do. It's just that our kids stay around longer in the troubles you had at 2,3,4 & 5. It's the same, you can remember, if you let yourself. If I feel the need to let you know my child's medical needs, I will let you know.
Perhaps I live in a fairly tail land but to me there is no difference in what I do than in what any parent does. We struggle, we fight, we love, we enjoy, we get knocked down and get right back up again. Just as I feel that people do not need to walk around introducing themselves as "Hi, I'm Tom I'm gay and have a husband with 2 normal kids" to find acceptance nor do I feel the need to say "Hi, I'm Karen, I'm straight have a husband and 3 kids one is autistic and 2 are not" to find acceptance. My label rant is for everyone who is so concerned about "stepping on toes" and hurting feelings that we have become so damn "politically correct" we are going BACKWARDS in society. WE are segregating ourselves. WE made the labels, We are the ones who say if you don't have this label you don't belong. If we all stopped trying to "fit in" and accept people for just being a human being then maybe just maybe we wouldn't need to be so PC all the time. Maybe you could love and respect someone with any type of difference. Maybe there would be less judgement and more conversations. I realize ignorance is out there and it always will be. But, I have to figure there are more of "us" than there are of "them" otherwise the world would not be as advanced.
Beyond religion, and bibles, and living the golden rule. Treat someone as human they deserve as much grace as you do. Our differences don't make us different. They make us unique. That is why no mater how hard you try to package us into labels will we all every fit. Because we are all unique and is my rainbow.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Hair Cuts, good friends, and no coffee!!
If you are friends with me on Facebook you know I took Logan to get his hair cut on Sunday. You also know it took an hour! It's not like the kid was Rapunzel, or like he had a design carved into his head. Nope just a simple (or so I thought) 2 on the side fade to a scissored top long enough to comb over. OK so he picked up a book and wanted 52 hairstyles and 15 minutes later I told the sweet girl look just do this (what I said above) and I promise you he will love it. He didn't fight it (after he was in the chair). 15 minutes in she calls me over, "Mom, can you come here please?" Oh crap! What?? I was watching... nothing happened...uggghh. No, it wasn't him, she scalped him, in two spots on his head...."I'm so sorry, I've never done that before" no biggie I'm easy just even it up and call it good. SO....from a 2 we get a 1 and I go sit down again and wait, and wait. another 10 minutes go by. My gosh what in the world is taking so long... OMG another stylist is working on him. The poor girl cannot cut hair, Logan is a statue by this point he is no longer making facial expressions in the mirror, I am feeling the melt down coming on. The Second stylists whips right through it calls me over.. yes, good? Good! And then the first stylist hands the boy a mirror??? and it crashes to the ground, covered in shards of glass (as she runs to get a broom) he looks up and me with a sheepish grin...the boy did it on purpose!! LOL Sooo maybe he is his mothers child after all, I wanted to high-five him right there in the salon. but instead we pay, get a dum dum and giggle all the way out :)
This leads me to good friends, I have a life long friend who cuts hair. Ya I know, take the kid to her SHUSH!! Anyway both her daughter and Logan along with my nephew are starting 6th grade this year. They all got promoted this Sunday at church. We cried, her only, my oldest, and my brothers youngest. First off I am too young to have a kid this old... so is my friend. My brother ehh he's old its OK :) We end up crying in church and laughing we KNEW one of the women around us, who use to be OUR camp counselors and or youth minister were going to crack us in the head for acting up. But, 1 - how wonderful is it that I have a childhood friend that I grew up with that I can experience all this with and 2 - Everyone loves Logan and he feels accepted and loved and that is HUGE. Do you know he will actually attempt socialization here? It blows my mind it really, really does. 3 - that its in the same (home) we grew up in. Life is so much nicer when you have people that get you. I mean really GET you. They know when you need a hug, a prayer, a shoulder, a sounding board, or when need to cut up, and not only do they let you, they stand by you and join IN. I realized this Sunday, were good, I'm good, God is good (kinda knew that one already) but it is nice to get the reassurance that they will always be there for us, and we are never alone.
So then we go to no coffee, yes no coffee I wake up at 5:30AM ( I NEVER DO THAT) to get showered and dressed to go to the store at 6 when they open...to get COFFEE. OK so it's my fault, I get that. But when you live relatively in E.I.E.I.O. there is NO 7-11 or Circle K to go get Coffee from you have to wait till the Kroger opens and run in while they are still turning on the lights :) Coffee is a must, a staple, just as much water is, i mean its mostly water anyway right.:) It is also essential to the well being of my family and my marriage. Mostly it's been a good start to the week. Minus the iphone hacker (another blog, another day). Happy Tuesday everyone, cheers and God bless coffee and good friends!
This leads me to good friends, I have a life long friend who cuts hair. Ya I know, take the kid to her SHUSH!! Anyway both her daughter and Logan along with my nephew are starting 6th grade this year. They all got promoted this Sunday at church. We cried, her only, my oldest, and my brothers youngest. First off I am too young to have a kid this old... so is my friend. My brother ehh he's old its OK :) We end up crying in church and laughing we KNEW one of the women around us, who use to be OUR camp counselors and or youth minister were going to crack us in the head for acting up. But, 1 - how wonderful is it that I have a childhood friend that I grew up with that I can experience all this with and 2 - Everyone loves Logan and he feels accepted and loved and that is HUGE. Do you know he will actually attempt socialization here? It blows my mind it really, really does. 3 - that its in the same (home) we grew up in. Life is so much nicer when you have people that get you. I mean really GET you. They know when you need a hug, a prayer, a shoulder, a sounding board, or when need to cut up, and not only do they let you, they stand by you and join IN. I realized this Sunday, were good, I'm good, God is good (kinda knew that one already) but it is nice to get the reassurance that they will always be there for us, and we are never alone.
So then we go to no coffee, yes no coffee I wake up at 5:30AM ( I NEVER DO THAT) to get showered and dressed to go to the store at 6 when they open...to get COFFEE. OK so it's my fault, I get that. But when you live relatively in E.I.E.I.O. there is NO 7-11 or Circle K to go get Coffee from you have to wait till the Kroger opens and run in while they are still turning on the lights :) Coffee is a must, a staple, just as much water is, i mean its mostly water anyway right.:) It is also essential to the well being of my family and my marriage. Mostly it's been a good start to the week. Minus the iphone hacker (another blog, another day). Happy Tuesday everyone, cheers and God bless coffee and good friends!
Thursday, August 15, 2013
The Next BIG Step...finding our rainbow
The next step in our lives is for the boy to go off to Middle School and start 6th grade. He is terrified and so am I. Of course he does not know that I am just as scared as he is. I have already met with his SpEd teacher and she has met the boy, which is great because now I don't have to explain him to her. So that is one angst off my list. Mind you the boys' list is totally different from mine.
Mine is..... without a younger group of kids to play with where will he gravitate too, will he be alone? Will his friends still be his friends? Will they have the same lunch or will he sit alone? Will the older kids pick on him because he is the size of a freshman in HS in the 6th grade, will he be bullied, can he handle the social dynamics of MS?
His concerns are, is my locker close enough to my classes, will I have a crummy bottom locker? Is my saxophone really at the school already? what kind of science will I get to take?
I have to remind myself that the boy does OK, it's not my level of comfort but he does OK. My angst is not his. I (we) have never treated the boy differently, we just handle him differently. Meaning just because he is has a label doesn't in any way shape or form give him permission to act out, perform lower than he is capable, or in any way is it to be used as a crutch. That being said, I speak to him differently, I know he will not "look me in the eyes when I am talking" to him. I cannot yell at him because he dissolves, a stern "do you understand me" is enough to have it in stone. I give him more one on one and side to side time than I do the girls. He needs that, he looks for it. The girls get it too, don't get me wrong, just for shorter amounts of time and way different activities.
I recently have let my self venture into the world of ASD mommies and Autism groups and blogs. I was tired of feeling like I wasn't a good enough mom because I didn't shit glitter and my world was not rainbows and unicorns. In these groups I have found real parents, moms, dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents that experience life everyday like I do. I don't know if I didn't venture out to them before because 'the boy really isn't that bad" so I thought I would not relate or if I yearned for normal. My normal is not normal, not in any since of the word is it normal, it is however AUsome, and now I see my world in a whole new lite.
The boy will be fine, will we fall? YA! Will we cuss and cry and meltdown? That's a given. But, it's OK because that is who we are, we fight for what we have to and the rest we carve out, on our own winding road. It might be longer, darker, and be far more up hill, but, it is ours and we like it that way. Do I wish it was not so rough?... sure, who doesn't? Who wants their kid to struggle, who wants to see heart break? No one. This next BIG step is HUGE but just like everything else we will find our way. It might not be straight up and over but we will get there and we will look back through our storms and find our rainbow, through the dark clouds and rain we will see it right before the next step. We might not have rainbows and unicorns all the time, but when we do they are bigger and brighter and mean more to us, because we earned it.
Mine is..... without a younger group of kids to play with where will he gravitate too, will he be alone? Will his friends still be his friends? Will they have the same lunch or will he sit alone? Will the older kids pick on him because he is the size of a freshman in HS in the 6th grade, will he be bullied, can he handle the social dynamics of MS?
His concerns are, is my locker close enough to my classes, will I have a crummy bottom locker? Is my saxophone really at the school already? what kind of science will I get to take?
I have to remind myself that the boy does OK, it's not my level of comfort but he does OK. My angst is not his. I (we) have never treated the boy differently, we just handle him differently. Meaning just because he is has a label doesn't in any way shape or form give him permission to act out, perform lower than he is capable, or in any way is it to be used as a crutch. That being said, I speak to him differently, I know he will not "look me in the eyes when I am talking" to him. I cannot yell at him because he dissolves, a stern "do you understand me" is enough to have it in stone. I give him more one on one and side to side time than I do the girls. He needs that, he looks for it. The girls get it too, don't get me wrong, just for shorter amounts of time and way different activities.
I recently have let my self venture into the world of ASD mommies and Autism groups and blogs. I was tired of feeling like I wasn't a good enough mom because I didn't shit glitter and my world was not rainbows and unicorns. In these groups I have found real parents, moms, dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents that experience life everyday like I do. I don't know if I didn't venture out to them before because 'the boy really isn't that bad" so I thought I would not relate or if I yearned for normal. My normal is not normal, not in any since of the word is it normal, it is however AUsome, and now I see my world in a whole new lite.
The boy will be fine, will we fall? YA! Will we cuss and cry and meltdown? That's a given. But, it's OK because that is who we are, we fight for what we have to and the rest we carve out, on our own winding road. It might be longer, darker, and be far more up hill, but, it is ours and we like it that way. Do I wish it was not so rough?... sure, who doesn't? Who wants their kid to struggle, who wants to see heart break? No one. This next BIG step is HUGE but just like everything else we will find our way. It might not be straight up and over but we will get there and we will look back through our storms and find our rainbow, through the dark clouds and rain we will see it right before the next step. We might not have rainbows and unicorns all the time, but when we do they are bigger and brighter and mean more to us, because we earned it.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
no rainbows and unicorns
First of all I have come to the staunch realization that I am not a "rainbow and unicorn" mom. When I speak it is from the heart, it is raw, sometimes funny, and always freeing. When I walk around my house glitter and butterflies do not float about. I do not wear rose colored glasses and I know that Logan is what he is and everyday I learn a new trick to dealing with him. Mostly because what I learned yesterday is totally irrelevant today. His little twin sisters are either on my side or not, and mostly because they are preteen girls they are NOT. That always adds to the fun an excitement of life.
Summer has been an all time consuming adventure. Leaving the safety of those that adore Logan in Elementary school and venturing out into a world unknown has been a series or breakthroughs and melt downs, in no particular order. Logan is very much wanting to grow up and be independent all the while staying firmly attached to my pant leg LOL. He tried out the "big brother" role this summer... ya... that resulted in numerous melt downs. All of those (of course) occurred while I was a work usually with a client in the office and me in the copy room trying to reason with an inconsolable person. Or as I like to say it "throwing wet sponges at a fire." I can deal with them in person, but over the phone crying like a 2 year old (half the time I cant understand the poor kid) and melting down is very difficult to handle on a phone. But, all in all we tackled them and moved on. We have had best friend drama, I hate you , I love you, where did you go, leave me alone, please come back, BFF's, sell my sisters, i cannot live with out my sisters, secret societies and clubs to no one likes me....ahhhhh!!! melt downs and make ups. Sometimes when I'm really lucky... all in one day. Yes, really all in one day. If you don't have an ASD kid in your life you really should get one, you have no clue what drama can be like until then, or how nice drinking wine is LOL
Logan's angst about middle school is growing as are his daily meltdowns. We had to deal with the haircut melt down this weekend. I have to admit this one was my fault, I prepared him for this all day, and in the end time ran out, no hair cut for Logan. Those of you with a kid on the spectrum I am sure has experienced the haircut delima (it seems to be common for ASD kids to not like hair cuts) so after the haircut did not happen it was 30 minutes of "but Mom, you said!" " you told me it was going to happen today" fits of anger, slamming doors, and tears later we snuggled in the recliner and watched a movie.
Over all the summer with Logan has been fantastic. I am very impressed with Logan, he did 2 no 3 over night camps. I was stunned I did not get phone calls in the middle of the night begging me to come get him. Granted they were all with the church in a location, and with people whom he is very familiar with, and a staff that is the BEST ever! His sisters were also old enough to along this year. Also they were no more than 3 nights and they built up from 1 to 2 to 3. It was in short amazing. It does help that his cousin who was put on this earth to "get" Logan, and one of the older youth (who is an aspie) were there. We are so lucky, no, no BLESSED to have these people in our lives. My nephew is truly a God send when it comes to Logan, I could write a book on what that kid means to me. Having the girls be old enough to go was probably the biggest factor in Logan going on these trips this year. Last year he wanted nothing to do with them. he did not care where they were going, who they would be with or any of it. It was I have no electronics, no TV, no Wii NO WAY. So I didn't even push the issue. I simply said your sisters OH and your BFF is going do want to go to?
Luckily he said yes which lead to the most magnificent happening of all this summer. Brucie and I got a whole weekend and entire 3 days kid free! We broke every parent rule, we went to Louisiana and gambled, and drank, and ate too much , and stayed up too late, and drove too far, and spent too much and Bruce got a tattoo. It was great, it was the most quiet I have had in well... EVER! There is nothing I can do to repay that gift. I am not sure anyone realizes how much it meant to me to just be able to be. To go the bathroom alone, to shop for groceries alone, to not have to break up fights, or fix melt downs, or be quiet in the morning when i get my coffee so I don't wake anyone up and I can sneak back in my room before they notice. NONE of it. It was like I got shipped off to a new world, my own secret place. But, it's gone now. Back to dinosaurs, all things animal, and fighting siblings.
To tell you the truth I wouldn't have it any other way. I was bored by Sunday without the kids, but it was still a nice break. I love my life, my kids, my stress, our successes.I get to sit and cry and bitch about it because it's mine. I don't live on a Rainbow or ride around on a unicorn with glitter and butterflies floating about and that's OK. Life would be pretty lame without a rain cloud and thunderstorms to shake it all up. I love my little black rain clouds :)
Summer has been an all time consuming adventure. Leaving the safety of those that adore Logan in Elementary school and venturing out into a world unknown has been a series or breakthroughs and melt downs, in no particular order. Logan is very much wanting to grow up and be independent all the while staying firmly attached to my pant leg LOL. He tried out the "big brother" role this summer... ya... that resulted in numerous melt downs. All of those (of course) occurred while I was a work usually with a client in the office and me in the copy room trying to reason with an inconsolable person. Or as I like to say it "throwing wet sponges at a fire." I can deal with them in person, but over the phone crying like a 2 year old (half the time I cant understand the poor kid) and melting down is very difficult to handle on a phone. But, all in all we tackled them and moved on. We have had best friend drama, I hate you , I love you, where did you go, leave me alone, please come back, BFF's, sell my sisters, i cannot live with out my sisters, secret societies and clubs to no one likes me....ahhhhh!!! melt downs and make ups. Sometimes when I'm really lucky... all in one day. Yes, really all in one day. If you don't have an ASD kid in your life you really should get one, you have no clue what drama can be like until then, or how nice drinking wine is LOL
Logan's angst about middle school is growing as are his daily meltdowns. We had to deal with the haircut melt down this weekend. I have to admit this one was my fault, I prepared him for this all day, and in the end time ran out, no hair cut for Logan. Those of you with a kid on the spectrum I am sure has experienced the haircut delima (it seems to be common for ASD kids to not like hair cuts) so after the haircut did not happen it was 30 minutes of "but Mom, you said!" " you told me it was going to happen today" fits of anger, slamming doors, and tears later we snuggled in the recliner and watched a movie.
Over all the summer with Logan has been fantastic. I am very impressed with Logan, he did 2 no 3 over night camps. I was stunned I did not get phone calls in the middle of the night begging me to come get him. Granted they were all with the church in a location, and with people whom he is very familiar with, and a staff that is the BEST ever! His sisters were also old enough to along this year. Also they were no more than 3 nights and they built up from 1 to 2 to 3. It was in short amazing. It does help that his cousin who was put on this earth to "get" Logan, and one of the older youth (who is an aspie) were there. We are so lucky, no, no BLESSED to have these people in our lives. My nephew is truly a God send when it comes to Logan, I could write a book on what that kid means to me. Having the girls be old enough to go was probably the biggest factor in Logan going on these trips this year. Last year he wanted nothing to do with them. he did not care where they were going, who they would be with or any of it. It was I have no electronics, no TV, no Wii NO WAY. So I didn't even push the issue. I simply said your sisters OH and your BFF is going do want to go to?
Luckily he said yes which lead to the most magnificent happening of all this summer. Brucie and I got a whole weekend and entire 3 days kid free! We broke every parent rule, we went to Louisiana and gambled, and drank, and ate too much , and stayed up too late, and drove too far, and spent too much and Bruce got a tattoo. It was great, it was the most quiet I have had in well... EVER! There is nothing I can do to repay that gift. I am not sure anyone realizes how much it meant to me to just be able to be. To go the bathroom alone, to shop for groceries alone, to not have to break up fights, or fix melt downs, or be quiet in the morning when i get my coffee so I don't wake anyone up and I can sneak back in my room before they notice. NONE of it. It was like I got shipped off to a new world, my own secret place. But, it's gone now. Back to dinosaurs, all things animal, and fighting siblings.
To tell you the truth I wouldn't have it any other way. I was bored by Sunday without the kids, but it was still a nice break. I love my life, my kids, my stress, our successes.I get to sit and cry and bitch about it because it's mine. I don't live on a Rainbow or ride around on a unicorn with glitter and butterflies floating about and that's OK. Life would be pretty lame without a rain cloud and thunderstorms to shake it all up. I love my little black rain clouds :)
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